Rithesh has always been a thoughtful gift giver, but this year he truly outdid himself. For my birthday and graduation he gave me a professional recording studio certificate to record a selection of my favourite songs. Not only did I have fun singing in a studio, but also the girls now have tracks to listen to when I'm away for residency training. Rithesh did a ton of research and found this amazing studio right here in the Badlands: doG House Studios in Rosebud (Web link: http://doghousestudios.virb.com). My experience working with Paul Zacharias at the studio was wonderful and although I have yet to hear the finished product, I'm confident it'll be sound as glorious as it felt.
One of the songs I decided to sing was "Audition (The Fools Who Dream)" from the film La La Land. The raw sentiment expressed in Mia's performance is, for me Ms.
PhD in literature, the movie's thesis statement: that those with dreams often appear foolish and make life messy on their quest to achieve them. I'm not an aspiring actress – and although I loved my recording sessions and enjoy singing every day – I'm not a professional singer. But I share a dream with Rithesh about the art of medicine that has been perceived by some as foolish, especially this past year.
Sometimes you give something
your all and it doesn't work out and you feel like giving up – you wonder if you're delusional to think you can succeed or even simply survive. But you suck it up and take all that heartbreak and love for what you do and tap dance over all the cruel words trying to bring you down. So as you can imagine, this song meant a lot to me. I'm sure to many on the outside, we have it good; but it hasn't come without failures, betrayals, tears, fears and many disappointments. And thank goodness for that! If everything had come easy in the past, we wouldn't have the strength and courage to persevere now. We also wouldn't have the heart to empathize with patients sincerely, for being aware of your own fallibility makes it easier to accept others and their shortcomings.
Yet sometimes you need to pause on the high road and belt out a high note. Indeed, sometimes I feel Rithesh is Mia: the foolish dreamer with an aching heart fighting for change, one note at a time. The frequent auditions and meetings leading to a series of disappointments. I see him in this dark room, spotlights highlighting his every move and sound mixes showcasing any miss in pitch, as he tries to perform professionally when he's actually belting inside. It's hard to push for change without moments of doubt, but success is going from failure to failure and overcoming each with determination.
Thank you, my honey, for this thoughtful and beautiful gift. In return, when you feel like giving up, just listen to that tune and remember: here's to the fools who dream / crazy as they may seem / here's to the hearts that ache / here's to the mess we make.
Oh and in case you haven't seen the film, after this performance, she gets the part and becomes a big star. If you haven't seen it and enjoy classic musicals, watch it this weekend. It is one of the best films I've seen in a long time.